starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

eriridan:

eriridan:

so i have two days of school left and my teacher decided to give us an essay, and i’ll p much be turning in this

thank

esexist:

i just got called a faggot by a group of 6th graders wearing polos

thefaultsinourself:

densofaxis:

the swim team at my school was able to slip in “we go in hard and come out wet” in the yearbook and the yearbook people didn’t realize it until it was too late so they put stickers over that part but everyone’s taking that shit off

that is beautiful

emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

causticgambler:

nayariverax:

remember when this thing was number #1 in the uk charts.

WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT